How To Give A Compliment

How To Give A Compliment

Rookie Mom

Have you ever been on the way to visit someone who has really great hair, and on the way there you realise you didn’t shower that day and forgot to put your hair up and now you were on your way to visit someone with really great hair?

I have.

It happened last weekend when I went to visit Tory. Tory has great hair. It’s long and luscious and she looks cuter than a 14 year old taking selfies in her bathroom. I mean look at her…

She has great hair. And a gorgeous son. It's kind of ridiculous.
Tory has great hair. And a gorgeous son. It’s kind of ridiculous.


So on the way to Tory’s house, I had this self-directed diatribe going through my head:

“Ah no! NO MAN! YOU DORK. Why didn’t I put my flippen hair up? I didn’t even have a shower today. Note to self: taking Luke to swimming lessons is NOT the same as having a shower. Flip my hair looks so scaffy, and Tory always looks so gorgeous. I HATE MY HAIR UGGGGHHHHH.”

That’s all I had time for because she lives 5 minutes away, but I could have gone on much longer.

Then Tory opens the door and OBVS her hair is flowing over her shoulder like she just stepped out of a salon.

Fast forward about an hour after tea, Swiss rolls, discussions about parenting and temperament and whether its better to get your veggies at Woolies or FoodLovers. The conversation turns to our free-spirited, unorganised approach to life (I like to call it “Big Picture Living”), and Tory brings up the fact that she can never find hairbands. She says:

“In fact, I was looking for a hairband this evening when you said you were on your way, because your hair is always so great and I was like, UH, Jess’ hair is always so smooth and straight and just hangs so nicely, and my hair is so wild and crazy. But I couldn’t find one to tie up this mane so sorry you have to look at my frizzy hair!”

What. The. Heck.

I almost fell off the chair laughing, and told her about my own hair crisis and how we were both literally thinking the same thing about each other and ourselves – SHE HAS GREAT HAIR. I DO NOT.

So we took this selfie to commemorate the moment of ridiculousness.

We have great hair.
We have great hair.

Why do we do this?

Why do we take what is probably truly awesome about us – for example, my great hair – and try pretend like it’s truly awful?

  • When someone tells us we have a nice outfit on, we say “Oh, its so old and I got it at Mr Price. It doesn’t even fit me properly.”
  • When someone says “You have such a nice nose!”, we say, “What? It’s so stubby and round. I wish I had a nose like you.”
  • When someone compliments us on a job well done, we say, “It was nothing! It wasn’t really me, the team worked so hard on it.”


Stop insulting people’s good taste. Stop rejecting their compliments. Stop throwing perfectly sincere admiration to the floor like it’s garbage.

My mom taught me this a few years ago. When someone gives you a compliment, do you know what to do?

Smile and say “Thank you.”

No excuses, no self-deprecation, no fake humility. No long story about how usually you’re blah blah blah and it’s totally random that this one time you’re so good at blah blah blah.

Smile and say “Thank you.”

You probably have great hair. Or great taste in clothing. Or can sing. Or are brilliant at your job. Or can make really good macaroons. Or something.

So here’s the challenge, friends. Here is your TO DO list for today.

  1. Give a compliment. To yourself.
    Say something you like about yourself.  On Facebook, or Twitter, or the comments section of this blog. Somewhere that others can see it. Say something you like about yourself and OWN it. Claim it. Do not fob off all the affirmation that will follow. And it can’t be like, “I am so good at being average at stuff.” It has to be great, like “I have gorgeous toes. I freaking love my toes.”
    (If you feel awkies doing this, post it along with a link to this blog so everyone knows you’re not being a ego-maniacal social media fool. Or not)
  2. That’s all.
Now it's your turn to :) and say "Thank you."
Now it’s your turn to 🙂 and say
“Thank you.”

That was a test. Now go and spread the love!

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